Poking Pet Peeves

POKING PET PEEVES



At this point, I am starting to feel a little more like a pro-and less overwhelmed. I have chatted with a few guys on here. Before I get to the pet peeves(aka annoyance) on here, I should give you a little more backstory so that you can understand:

As I hinted at, I was in a very serious car accident a few years ago. March 28th will mark 3 years...coming up on the anniversary that I survived. My body was badly mangled. My foot was severed and reattached, 4 of my fingers on my right hand were put back together after numerous fractures and breaks in all of them, tailbone broken, neck  collapsed on itself, spine completely messed up and sliced open from head to toe with glass. It has very clearly been a long, arduous process for me to recover and reintegrate as an active member of society. I was an athlete beforehand, and am no stranger to serious injury-so that has prepared me to get through this. I healed better than expected-you can see from my picture that I look perfectly normal and other than hidden, copious amounts of pain- you really cannot tell unless I point it out. I limp some-that's about it.

 I did not walk for a year and only have partial use of my right hand....before this, I was a bartender and a dance teacher. So not only have I rehabilitated, but I've had to start all over from scratch(with limitations) on the workforce front. Being self-sufficient, independent & a workaholic is completely who I am....I've been able to take on 2 jobs(that were not a successful career) at 6 months apiece....and am now in the process of a 3rd career search. I've kept an open mind, I know my strengths, and I have taken each job that was offered to me even though I was not jumping for joy over any of them. I am definitely having to deal with discrimination from being an attractive woman and from my injury....and my employers not making any  accomodations that are necessary for my handicaps. I tried taking on a roomate after getting my first job....but this entry level income I've had to learn to live on has not afforded me the luxury of the independence I so desperately need....thank god for my family, cause my dad convinced me to come home until I really get on my feet.

So....clearly I'm dealing with a lot. And clearly, I am a very blunt, brazen individual....try explaining all of this to a potential mate?! Hahahahaha....it's kind of hard to get around all of this when you are in the questioning phase-which is like the first round of interviews on a dating website. I've come a long way and am a highly motivated, determined individual....I definitely have a positive attitude and should be proud of how far I have come....but it is definitely hitting insecurities and my pride when I have to explain that I am: unemployed, living with my father at 29 years of age, and handicapped. All of these bio's boast of physical fitness and being highly active outdoors....clearly I cannot be so active-I am barely mobile. But as much as this is difficult to discuss, I am not gonna hide anything and they need to know what they are in for because I do not want to put in time with someone who is not open to dealing with these things. I am aware that this is a dating website, and a lot of these men are not going to want to get involved with someone like me when they are vying for a successful, independent, athletic woman. Some men(which hasn't stopped them before) are going to see what all I have to offer and look past my tragic circumstances....I'm not where I wanna be yet, but I can assure you....I will get there. I am definitely not looking for anyone to take care of me. :)

Ok....."poking" pet peeves.... so I have talked to 4 guys back and forth on here. 1 of them has had some very odd behavior-but it has intrigued me. Because I added him to my "favorites"(which means he can see I am interested) and we sent a few emails. He looks a little too clean cut(like he might tie a sweater around his neck) but definitely attractive.....so I've given it a shot. All he has done is be pretty pessimistic about the crazy girls he has gone out with on here and dating in general. At first it was amusing, but you can seriously tell he is a debbie downer....I emailed him something funny(since he seems like he might have a sense of humor like me-which is a little off) about passing a stripclub on the road and seeing a sign about midget strippers....and I reminisced about a one-legged stripper I heard about there when I lived over here as a kid. Who wouldn't find midget strippers funny? Apparently him, because the next time I went to click on his profile, it was hidden so I couldn't see it....what the heck does that mean?! So I googled it.....if it pops up as hidden, that means either they blocked you so you can't see it or they probably didn't realized they still have their profile up and they are involved with someone....so it has definitely perturbed me since this has happened a few times! Well, this guy popped back up in an email a week or so later...telling me the email was lost on him....I had to explain the humor, then he said a few jokes-and I just got to the point. I was hurt, looking for a job, and living at home....whatever. Of course, he blocked me again....I'm assuming. I never heard from him and did not try and click on his profile either. I don't think it would work out with a man that does not find midget strippers funny in the first place....lost cause.

The other guy was a lot more sympathetic and really interested in the details of the accident, etc. He was a foreigner, and we talked about the different cultures. We were kind of getting to the point of going out, and then I made light of living at home....and how I couldn't wait to get settled in a new job so I could get my own place again.....probably too much, because he blocked me and then, I noticed, he never got on the site again....I'm really starting to feel like this online dating was a stellar idea at this point...I'm scaring them off the dating site! Haha. Maybe I shouldn't be so forward until they know me better? But it's not in my nature....I don't know how to hide things....either they can deal, or they can't!

There were 2 others....both seemed like really nice guys. Nothing wrong with them....one guy, I got all the way through everything with and he wanted to talk on the phone....good sign, but I dunno why....I just wasn't feeling him. Other than compassion and wit, I really just wasn't grabbed or drawn to him....I need to feel fireworks and racing heartbeats to even go out with someone.....which makes online meetings very tricky, since you really cannot tell. I am used to knowing a man before we go out, but I know when the right guy comes along...I will get that feeling somehow. Something they say will hold my interest!

The other guy was just relocating here from Chicago(I think?). Again, good looking guy-more on the 40 mark with his age....he looked italian and a little bit of what I have deemed a "shiny shirt guy." Someone who is built like a brick house, with a skin tight, obnoxiously printed, dress shirt and always goes to clubs....sometimes slathered in body oil. These guys are normally snotty and stiff....nowhere near my type. I'm looking for someone way more laid back and preferably someone who doesn't spend more time in the mirror than I do....so I answered all of his questions about good locations in the city and what they have to offer....and then did not respond when he asked to meet up when he was coming to town the next week....I just didn't feel any spark. I know....I know....I'm being really picky. But I'll know when someone interests me.