I am new to online dating....but this is not my first experience meeting a guy off the internet. There have been 4 guys I have been out with before. I think those experiences are worth reflecting on so that I do not repeat those mistakes. "Charlesincharge" was not the first disappointment-but hopefully the last! Does anyone remember myspace? Well....I went through a devastating break-up one time and started randomly messaging/browsing cute guys off myspace. I thought it would be a good way 2 rebound. There was a guy named "jason." We had this amazing, intellectual connection. He was very goodlooking. We met up in person...he was not anywhere near as cute as his pics. He looked a lot like billy corgan(the lead singer of smashing pumpkins)...and he was not a man of many words in person. We dated for a month-I just never felt any sparks. There were definitely no "bedroom" sparks on my end. What really did it...was the night of my first sleepover. He had 2 cats, ashton and midnight, whom he spoke 2 in a very non-hetero way. "Ashton" was very upset I was sleeping in his spot and "jason" spent the night talking 2 him....try sleeping with some crazy cat pouncing on you and then listening 2 "oh ashton, life is just so terrible isn't it." I am still not convinced that man is into women. My friends all know how I feel about straight guys who own cats....there is something wrong with them. Seriously....I have a plethora of crazy cat stories. I think it should be a scientific study...if they are single, and there is a cat-I am out.
Then there was this pilot I met that lived in miami. That was exciting and he was super hot in all of his pics. We continued talking for an entire year and then I decided 2 be spontaneous. I flew 2 miami and he took me on a cruise for a week. I kind of liked him in person...he was hot when I was drunk. He was deceptively thin though. I like someone 2 b bigger than me. I can't do skinny. Nothing is more appalling than going 2 wrap your arms around someone...and you are just hugging air...and he could be a bit of a jerk. But I was drunk the whole time, he paid for it all & there were a lot of hilarious things to watch on the ship. He flew to see me one other time and that was the end of that. Definitely no fireworks.
Then there was the guy off of myspace that picked me up to go on a date. In person, he had very large pores, circles under his eyes and a sickly jaundiced tone to his skin. He definitely looked sickly, like a poster child for pot smoking. There was definitely no chemistry in person....I took him to a karaoke bar-and he had no sense of humor. I am pretty sure this guy was seriously depressed. He was telling me all about his abusive childhood while I was getting sloshed....and then walks in "rhett...like rhett butler. This 60+ year old man had on pleather pants, a platinum mullet and a smiley face bandana wrapped around his head like rambo. He was rapping without looking at the teleprompter...swinging the mic around his head. I've never laughed so hard in all my life. This man was deeply offended that I was not paying attention to him...and I got a hate email the next day about how self-absorbed I was. If only you could see me shake my head right now.
These stories should be a lesson...a cautionary tale. Yet I go full force into a new guy leaping without looking. It also looks like I have a track record of trying to establish a connection before meeting them. I seriously think I've gotten that wrong. And I am so apprehensive when a guy wants to meet up without getting to know me...probably to avoid the fiascos I have encountered. I had three myspace encounters many moons ago....and then I set up a dating profile for 2 weeks last year. I didn't join or really look at anyone....this one guy had posted his facebook screenname on his page, so I messaged him. He looked really cool in all his pics...had this rockabilly, biker thing going on. Lots of pics of him and his 3 year old son. He had a lot of pics with a really cool harley and tats...not my normal type, but undeniably sexy. Things got hot and heavy for 2 weeks on the phone...we were talking all day long. He really was pushing for me to meet him and his son. But I told him no, we should meet alone first. Big date planned....an hour away haha. He looked nothing like his pics. He was scrawny, with overgrown facial hair and a wild unruly mane of hair. He was also trying to get into this biker gang....so he had the club insignia on his shirt, his wallet, his bandana....and the 'bike' was the saddest little charlie brown christmas tree of motorcycles. "That's my baby," he says....yep-that's something to be proud of.....I am not convinced it was even a tricycle. I was dressed like a biker I might add....and he took me to a redneck bar-and barely muttered two words. Did I mention he had trash piled in his car like a hoarder? That guy actually saw that I made a profile and messaged me...I responded with, " hey...I'm pretty surprised to hear from you." And he said, "why? Do you still have my #? Text me." To which I said, " well we went out one time a year ago and never spoke again, so I'm pretty surprised to hear from you. No I don't have your #, but good luck to you on here."
I know there is something to be learned here...
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